But the BS quotient is so high that it makes my head spin. And to make things even more confusing: the more vague and enigmatic I am, the more the guys want to chat with me. So let me get this right - the more real i am, the less they care, and the more vague, the more they want to know. Makes me wonder: do they really want to know me?
I was at Michelangelo's the other day. He took on the role of armchair psychologist. we got to talking about dating and told me I should go on jdate. I gave him my laundry list of why i hated it - but since we were at a computer - we checked if my profile was still there - and it was.
When I got home, I decided to re-tool it a little. I updated stuff - added newer pix. but since I'm not a paying member, I can't initiate conversation or read messages. I have to wait for the guys to Instant Message me. That means I have to be logged on in order to communicate with anyone.
Your first introduction to a person on the site is via the screen name or "handle", if you will - which is usually some variation of the person's name perhaps with a number or something about the city where you're from. But on Jdate - you sometimes get names that indicate that they're Jewish... this is already called Jdate... duh!
It's not unusual to find names like: "DowneyJewnior" or "MrEJew" or "NativeJewYorker". C'mon, seriously?
Now since I can't initiate conversation - I have to wait til someone IM's me. Some guy named Jason1234 (not the right numbers - protecting the guilty...) starts chatting me up... then tells me to email him - at Mitchel1234@... com. So wait - are you Jason or Mitchell. He said he got stalked on this site. ok - fair enough. I then see his Myspace page, and his name is listed as George on there!!??!! WTF??? Then I look at his pictures and recognize him - he's some douche that I'd already blocked on both Myspace & Jdate years ago! Creepy predator alert... he's not the stalkee - he's the stalker!
I ask you - what is the ratio of fact vs. fiction on these profiles? Some are just blatantly looking for a hookup. And if that's the case - why don't they just go to a bar? My friends tell me that I should go on a dating site like Eharmony or Match or Jdate - that I'll find others looking for relationships... that's why they're paying for the servic]\\]. I don't know about that... I'm seeing so much of what I already get at the bars - that I figure - why bother?
I'm online a lot. I usually have about 5 windows open at once... But I hate Instant Messaging - especially with strangers. It's so tedious and boring. Nothing makes me walk away from the computer faster than small talk on IM!!
Perhaps I'm just not cut out for the whole online dating thing. I have so much contempt for it due to some lame experiences - that i'm just too cynical about it all.
At least at the gallery where I work - I have Torrance (the doorman) to filter out the idiots. He'll straight up tell someone who's about to walk up and talk to me - "don't you go in there to rap with her". Thanks T!
Maybe I'm just not cut out for dating in general.
Another suggestion from Mike: I shouldn't be so honest all the time. I should lie more - be more mysterious. My roommate also espouses this philosophy to a different degree - she says not to give it all up (information, that is) in the beginning - let them get to know you.
That night I went to the bar/gallery - and apparently was introduced to a friend of a friend (I'd had a few shots already)... He asked me about myself. I told him i was an "enigma". I re-met him a few days later - and he'd reminded me of that... (I said that?)... question is: was he annoyed by that or intrigued... hmmm - if i'd asked, i'd have turned into someone boring - but how do i play with that - especially when sober?
There might be some truth to what they're saying... Unfortch - I'm just way too honest. I am so bad at lying! and in this case, is it a bad thing?
I've since stripped my profile down to almost nothing - I get more email messages (that I can't open) and flirts (again - can't read them) and views than before.
Yet I'm still not going to pay $35/month for membership to read them. I still hate Jdate.
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