contemplating... and being thankful

It's been a while since my last posting... sorry.

Sometimes you just get caught up in your own life's dramas and need a jolt to look at the big picture again.

Thanksgiving is (was?) one of my favorite holidays... but this past one wasn't all that. The underlying feeling i had was that something is wrong... very wrong.

I have wonderful friends, and a lovely family... and i'm thankful for them - they are a part of my life.

This year we organized a family event... and it was the first time I played such a big role. Perhaps I bit off more than I could chew... but I was so stressed and all caught up in my little tasks - that when Thanksgiving day arrived, I was suddenly hit by such a strong wave of sadness.

Sadness and contemplating led to frustrations and a mini-meltdown... What did i do? I called mommy. She helped me put things into perspective. After listening to me vent & unload about the pettiest little dramas - she mentioned something about India...

- What's happening in India?
- You haven't heard?
- No - what? I don't watch TV and all I've been doing the past 2 days is cooking.
- The terrorist attacks - the bombings - the hostages
- ???

Wow - was I living under a rock? What a slap back into reality.

And when I was driving back to my cousin's to complete the cooking and have the meal, I saw a man with a sign - A Vietnam veteran who needed some money... all my food & money was in a bag in my trunk... I felt like a heel.

How many Iraqi war veterans are going to be on the streets just like this man in 2, 5, 15 years? They are going to be a part of the new destitute. Our country is still at war.

When I go to work in Hollywood, I'm seeing more and more homeless men and women in the corners asking for change or just humbly camped-out, sleeping and trying to stay warm.

So while I have countless things to be thankful for, I have this bittersweet feeling that i shouldn't be "celebrating" this holiday in such a big way for a while. I almost want to go on a Thanksgiving-Hiatus... but then would it be more of an insult that I'm not acknowledging what I should be thankful for? I have to do something different. put my work and effort to helping others instead rather than help orchestrate a big feast.